Men and women are opposites in almost every way and one of those ways is their approach to assessing their partner’s sexual history. As a man you may be predisposed to judge your girlfriend’s sexual history using the same methodology by which you judge your own you tally up how many bangs you’ve had and that’s that. But men and women have different levels of access different sets of social consequences different biological outcomes and different ways of rationalizing sex.

Men gauge their sexual history based on the number of women they’ve slept with because major university double-blind studies peer reviewed by Jesus himself show the best way to add something up is to simply freaking add it up. Women are not bound by such mathematical foolishness and they know that there’s far better ways to quantify something than to actually quantify it. Due to her unfettered access to lotsa cocka a woman does not assess her sexual history based on the number of men she slept

Take a 24 year old woman who has slept with 3,285 men. A common mistake men make would be to think Holy crap! That’s a different man every day since the age of 16. What a slut! But in actuality that means that she has declined over 3 billion men. Now THAT’S a selective woman. To my knowledge no woman has banged more men that she hasn’t yet so since no woman has hit the 1,500,000,001 sexual partner mark all women are selective and cannot be labeled as sluts.

The undue criticism levied on women who just happen to have slept with enough men to complete a professional hockey team roster is a crying shame. I encourage men everywhere to open their minds and find comfort in the fact that after all that cock she’s hosted she chose yours to help pay half of her bills. Just think you’re better than the 38 men before you and the 3 billion who don't stand a chance after you yet.